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Dreamscape Fables :: »Reality Based Stories :: Mysteries of Reality :: Mountain Mustangs *Chapter One*
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 AuthorTopic: Mountain Mustangs *Chapter One* (Read 15 times)
shineon
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 Mountain Mustangs *Chapter One*
« Thread Started on Aug 1, 2009, 1:46pm »

Chapter 1
Jason Ledford

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning was cool and the green mountain grass damp. Dew covered everything from the wildflowers to the gate of the facility. Inside the boys were waking and the warden's were working them, but four were getting a second chance.
Jason Ledford and three other boys from the corrections facility waited outside the head warden's office. He wasn't sure who they were but he thought the tall, black sixteen year old was, Diangelo, the one that had been arrested for assaulting his gym teacher, and the short, jittery, blonde haired thirteen year old was Peter or Spaz, as he was know, he was here for armed robbery and car theft. The third would have to be Cameron then, the tall dark haired seventeen year old that had ran a pregnet woman off the road, resulting in the death of her unborn baby, it had been an accident, but the courts still found him guilty of Neglectful driving resullting in Vehicular Manslaughter.
Jason himself was averge hieght, dark haired and fifteen, He had gotten arrested for possetion of drugs, they weren't his, but he'd refused to rat out his friend that had asked him to hide the drugs.
Now the four of them were all waiting to be sent to Miracles in the Mountains, a mustang rescue that also took on troubled teens.

Twenty minutes later the Head Warden came out, he was a tall man, well into his forties with a black handlebar mustache and a rounded belly. He stopped infront of the boys, "You boys are very lucky, you are getting a chance to get out of this place. I suggest you listen, and listen well to Ms. Mercy, she's the only thing keeping you out, your parents have released custody to her, you will work. You will Learn to Ranch, Learn to ride and Learn to care. If you blow it, you'll be right back here in a nice little cell., so my suggestion is...don't blow it."
"Great suggestion Sir." Jason muttered.
"Boy, your gonna land yourself back here before you even leave." He warned.
"Sorry Sir." Jason replied.
"Now you boys go pick up your stuff from Warden Jimes, Ms. Mercy will be here shortly."
He left and the boys got up and headed to the office.

Melissa Mercy parked her truck. She was a tall woman, strong from ranch work, she had long blonde hair and gray eyes, she was only twenty-two, her mother techonlly owned and ran Miracle in the Mountains but Melissa did most the work and now she was here to pick up the four boys, she shut off the truck and got out and headed for the Head Warden's office. She could hardly believe she was taking four juvinile delinquents back with her at one time, as well as an abused horse that she still had to pick up. As she walked into the office so did four boys, she paused to look them over. Of the two tallest boys, one looked as if he were simply enduring his time and the other seemed to be enjoying it, scars and bruises dotted him that suggested he faught more then the others. The little one was jumpy, not good when working with horses, but the horses usually drew them out. Her eyes finally swept over the last boy, he didn't look like he belonged in this group, he looked like he should be in school, with his family, not here, not going to the ranch, but she could not make the judgement so she kept walking heading to Head Warden Spiel's office.

"That must be the owner of the ranch they're shippin' us too." Jason said, relaxing against the wall. "Man this is Dope, I don't wanna go to no damn ranch and do farm work for no cowgirl." Deangelo complained. "Man...Man...y-y-you ever been c-c-close to a h-h-horse? Heard the b-b-bitches were big and would s-s-stomp people." Spaz stuttered out. Cam laid his hand on Spaz's shoulder, "Chill Spaz..you're stutterin' like an idiot. You listen to the woman and you won't get stomped."
Deangelo gave his sadistic, catish grin, "Cam's goin' soft Man, tellin' the Spaz to listen for his safety...dat's dope fool, she don't give a shit 'bout us, she proboly gonna let the Spaz become a pancake."

"That's where you are wrong Mr. Coleman." Came Melissa's voice from behind them making Deangelo spin around. "I value all my workers and need them all on a ranch, Peter will learn to handle the horses properly, as will all of you, because I don't want you getting hurt. Now grab your bags and let's move, We've got a horse to pick up." She walked off leaving the boys to gather thier bags and follow, gaurds following them.
« Last Edit: Aug 3, 2009, 9:12am by shineon »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
FuzyBee
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 Re: Mountain Mustangs *Chapter One*
« Reply #1 on Aug 3, 2009, 9:36am »

=) I do love a good horse story!

Over looking a couple grammatical/spelling errors, it is really quite a good start.
You gave away a lot of good description and information, but still managed to leave the reader wondering how this is all going to work out.

I look forward to reading more of your work, and watching you improve. =]
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 Re: Mountain Mustangs *Chapter One*
« Reply #2 on Aug 3, 2009, 11:04am »

First off, welcome to DSF, Shineon =D

I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes - It's hard to keep each character unique and individual but it looks like you're doing a fine job with that. Like Bee said, there are a few gramatical and spelling errors that could use a little polishing, but overall this chapter gives me a good vibe. =3


Welcome again - I know we'll get along just fine ;D
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